A few words go a long way

Many people know the power of word and how even well intention words can be misinterpreted and a long cold night can follow.  On the other hand a few well chosen words can lead to a very pleasant evening.  After all the fun of dating we then get to have the fun of talking serious life discussions.  This is when some discussions can really put a downer on your perspective.

The nice thing about dating is the flexibility, the lack of the serious commitment and the always looking forward to being together.  Even with all that you may find that there are times when you just can't find the right thing to say.  There are several times that I would attempt to compliment her, but it would come across more as an unfair comparison.  This would usually lead to back tracking and rewording, and eventually just shutting up when I realized that all I was doing was digging a deeper hole. Even though we had our back and forth we didn't embed it in our memories as check marks against each other.

After some time we got married and the terminology changed.  Now we were talking about more serious stuff like our finances, what to do about our aging relatives.  Also added to that the fun of pets.  We would sometimes ruin our evening over discussion of finances, but the big benefit was that I could have that discussion with my wife.  This however put me on some shaky ground elsewhere.  If I didn't take the time to remind her of how important she was and how much she helped us, then I would end up with a very exhausted and sometimes bitter wife.  After some time there were just things that I expected her to do and sometimes I would forget to remind her how glad I was that she did these things. 

While it's really important for the major dates, Valentine's day, Birthday, and Anniversaries, it is also good to remember that it doesn't need to only be on those dates.  Take the extra words to remind her your love and appreciation, it's worth it.