Marriage and the Military

My wife and I met while I was on active duty in the Military in Japan.  This was probably one of the best things to happen for me.

While we were there the command actually required pre-marriage counseling that was held on the base.  It was one weekend of seminars and talked about many of the problems that are experienced by young married couples.  During the course there was a questionnaire that was given to us and our homework was to ask each other those questions.  These questions ranged from everything from money to children.  The reason for this is because in the military especially there are many people who marry and think that their life is going to be one way only to find it goes a different way.  From unexpected moves to extended time away from each other.  All these questions were designed to get the couple to face the reality that will be and how to incorporate that into the vision that they have.  I'm still looking for it so that I can share it if possible.

During that time, I was on watch all the time, so except for the days off, or when my watch schedule lined up with my wife's work schedule I didn't really get to see her that much.  Also she was still working and since we had no kids, we didn't really have any problems, just the inevitable one of what happens when my tour is over.  The time came and we decided that it was time to get out of active military service.  My new wife came over to be with me a couple of months after I returned to the US.  Of course one of the first questions she had was are you my husband because I put on the characteristic post military weight (25 lbs) and beard.

A couple of years later when I was out of the military we had a similar sit down and talk.  This time it was about reserve duty and how it fits into our marriage.  When I married, the first commitment I decided to have was to my wife, and we continue with that commitment to this day.  That discussion is what led me to resign from reserve duty and now work completely in the private sector.